Preliminary VOD Questions – Intentional Murder, Attempted Murder, Aggravated Assault or Battery

These questions are for your consideration and reflection, as they may raise issues you haven’t considered in this context, and help you begin to think about preparing for a VOD. It’s not unusual for the answers to change during the preparation process – and even during the VOD itself.

What are your main objectives, at this point, for a Victim Offender Dialogue (VOD) with the Offender?

   For example:

  • Do you want him/her to understand some of the initial and continuing emotional impacts and effects of what s/he did, upon you and your family?
  • Do you want him/her to explain (not excuse) why s/he did what s/he did?
  • Do you want him/her to take full personal responsibility for what s/he did?
  • Do you want something other or additional from the VOD with him/her?

What kinds of things could make the VOD go “wrong” for you?

   For example:

  • If s/he tries to minimize his/her responsibility, by blaming his/her choices to do what s/he did on alcohol or drugs or age or family history, or other factors?
  • If s/he tries to subtly (or even overtly) blame the victim for what s/he did to him/her?
  • If s/he claims to have “blacked out” certain (important-to-you) aspects of what s/he did, such that s/he says s/he “can’t remember” all or part of what s/he did to him/her?
  • If you get the sense that s/he is “sorry,” but only in words, and not in a real feeling way?

What do you want him/her to take away from the VOD with you?

   For example:

  • If s/he is one day to be released, and perhaps even to your community or county, how do you want him/her to understand his/her “place” in the community?
  • Is it important to you that s/he come away with some understanding of the devastation s/he caused, and how anniversaries, holidays, and other “triggers” can still affect you?
  • Do you want him/her to do his/her part to “carry” his/her share of the burden s/he left you and your family with, in the aftermath of his/her actions?
  • Or do you want him/her to not be burdened by the impacts and effects of his/her actions?
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